Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
