She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
