He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
