Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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