final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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