If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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