Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
