its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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