will power is for people who don't want to get laid
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
