you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
