Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize