you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
