Sponge bath it is.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
