Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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