I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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