I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
