Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
