My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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