I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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