with your own penis?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
