let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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