They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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