we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
