she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
