Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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