Its about making memories worth repressing
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
