No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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