I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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