Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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