So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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