To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
