the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
