Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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