I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
