He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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