whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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