Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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