there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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