shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
