either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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