i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
