so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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