Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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