Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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