Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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