first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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