6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize