Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
