Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
as a side note pls kill me
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