Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
