But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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