He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
