Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
