I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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