You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
