It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
