I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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