...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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