I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
