how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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