no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize