So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize