What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
