i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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