i think i have herpe
just one?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
then he tried to convert me to islam
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
