awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
