Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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