i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
