I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
