sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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