Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize