IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
